Opera House Phantoms

          Lurking, whispering, doing their best to distract and seduce...  Self-pity...  Resentment...  Envy... Others, in other masks and guises...  They all have pitiable reasons for their existence and their tragic twistings of truth and light, but we do not dare give ourselves over to them, no matter that we understand and weep with them sometimes, and wish with all our hearts to heal them... 
          What does it take to heal them?  They would say, "Give me what I ask for and I'll be at peace," but to give them what they want is to make still bigger monsters of them, validating that their distortions are true.
        It is illusion that they are stronger than anyone else: they are crippled, and would cripple us if we allow them. They do, as long as they live in our cellars and attics and secret passageways.  But how to bring them into light?  How to make room for them at the table, and by the cozy fireside? 
          Maybe the answer is to just take them by the hand, accept that they are part of our households, embrace them and lead them to the table, to the fireside.  To not buy into their tragedy and drama, but just love them as parts of our own whole selves, until they work out for themselves that they have no need to fear, because we're there beside them...


copyright 2005  by CL Redding

Redemption

Ten hours I spent on revisions and rewrites and printing-out today, with intermissions... I have a bet with my husband that I will get this ms completed and sent to the agent who has actually asked to see it, before he finishes rebuilding the front porch which broke a few weeks ago.


Yes, the front porch broke. It collapsed like a... well, like a broken porch... It was real old. And he finally tore down the wreckage. Our steps are now 8 feet from the door. Today a bible school fellow came and knocked. It was funny, hearing the knock-knock-knock at the bottom of the door. (How could he know we are using the back door these days?)


He stood there in the rain, looking up at me, asking for my son. Then he asked if we are bible students. Any of you who know my other writings are aware of what I meant when I said we were, but not in the way he might imagine.


I don't know why he asked for Charlie specifically... In fact, this is the second time this sort of thing has happened in the past month. What has he been up to? Has he got himself some sort of reputation among the local evangelists? Do they think he particularly needs saving? If anyone is going to redeem Charlie, it will be me: I'm the one who has invested all these years in him, and if I can redeem him for a new dryer or something, well, it would be just stupid to let someone else do it!


copyright 2005 by CLRedding